I'm one of those people who looks back on a year and thinks about what has happened, what I wanted to happen and what I can still make happen. I'm a goal writer.
It's always about this time, a few days before New Year's, that I begin contemplating my new goals for the year. You see, most of my life I have believed that January 1st is a "fresh start" day. It's the day that everything begins again with no past. That's why I write goals.....so I can begin again.
I can only think of one year that I didn't accomplish my goals, this one. I'm not sure what happened, or why, but I know for sure that 2010 will be different. One reason for my certainty is that I will complete my 2009 goals, plus the new ones I write for 2010. This is going to be a good year. Can't you feel it?
2009 has been a struggling year for me. I can't put my finger on the reason, although I'd certainly like to. I have a wonderful family, good friends, two good jobs, a house to call my own and a car that runs. ALL is well, but still I struggle inside. I have a sense of sadness about it all, and have no clue as to where it comes from. I've been impatient with others, hard on myself and generally an all around "grump"....BUT....that's about to change.
Three months ago I began doing one good deed a day to help someone; nothing big just randomly picking out some insignificant task that made someone's life a little more pleasant for that day. Committing to one, daily random act of kindness was a goal of mine for 2009, a goal aimed at being a good intention when I wrote it. BUT, here is was....October, nine months later, and all I had done was complain and talk about how little time I had for anything, much less a deed with good intentions. Now it's true, I really didn't have time, both jobs were busy and I never seemed to be able to manage anything outside my scheduled day, but by October, I was desperate for something, anything, to make me feel better about myself and the world around me. With 3 months of the year still remaining, and a serious attitude fix being needed, I literally MADE myself do something. Sort of my penance for non-compliance and non-completion. I figured that anything might help my downed attitude.
For me, it worked. I do feel better. Nobody knows what I've done because it makes me feel better to be the only one who knows. That's what makes it my 'act of kindness'...it calls attention to someone else, not me. It's made a huge impact on my self-esteem and by taking myself OUT of myself has begun a miraculous change of attitude. In fact, I will keep it as one of my goals each year.
This year I have been blessed; not with just the ordinary, but with the extraordinary. Miracles beyond belief continue to surround me, and the people that surround me daily, inspire me towards 'betterness'.
